Tag: mental-health

You Don’t Know Me…

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People are so ridiculous with their opinions I want to scream. Then I realized it doesn’t matter how loud you are, because they feel their opinion is right and your thoughts don’t matter, even when it’s you they are talking about.

I know I have to go to the doctor, but my landlord doesn’t care about how much I am in pain. They care about being paid and I care about a roof over my head.

A crazy thought popped in my head. I wanted to ask him (my bus driver, the person who believes I should put my health over any bill) if he was going to pay my bills? I kept that to myself, but I bet he would have shut up.

People shouldn’t act like they know you, when they barely know your name, and are clueless of your dreams. I’ve been meaning to redo my to do list.

Tired eyes want to close, but since I have to clock in soon I better get up. Even though a cat nap really sounds good. .

A different day, but the same thoughts. A nap sounds good right now.I havenā€™t had a toddler in my house in almost thirty years. Taking care of my niece and nephew ages 4 and 2. Watching them run and play in the park, a late bath, and dinner. I just knew they were going to be asleep by 8 oā€™clock and not two hours later.

The good thing about babysitting, your little ones you were playing with will go home, and you can sleep again. I love them and I enjoy playing with them, but I will also be glad when I can just see them online. I am tired, but I have to get back to the job hunt.

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A notebook is more than pages stacked together in a pretty shell for taking notes, jotting down a quick thought, an idea for a story, or even a poem or two. ā€œA Time to Write is a composition notebook where words may have a way to make you feel calm, create something new, or encourage you to set all your dreams free. Writing them down can be fun in this book, which has lines like any other book and a cute page to take notes.Ā 

Ā Ā Ā ** Hello, I just wanted to say I am adding affiliate links to my post. I am also going to keep my word and only post items I have some knowledge of or like. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase at no extra cost to you. Thank You. I appreciate your support. #affiliate links will take you to : amazon.comĀ  Ā 


Bye IV Now, LD*

Getting Back to my Words….

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I didn’t want to take a break, because more items kept being added to my work list. I’m like I’ll just work through this pain as I started praying for a better job.Ā 

Then I stopped, closed my eyes, and said I was going to listen to my body. So, I am going to put my phone down and crochet for the rest of my short break.

Okay I was ready to relax, at least until I saw that I broke my cute blue plastic crochet needle. I normally don’t take that one and it seems something always happens when you are rushing.

I was just thinking about how sweet it was going to be to sleep late tomorrow, but of course I had to think about the rent. When all those fruit tray orders came in, my mouth asked to come in, before my brain could stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

This made me also think about that pineapple on my counter. Time to make me a smoothie. I got myself a small ninja blinder and I hardly use it. I also started thinking about writing poems again and there are times when a quick thought crosses my mind, but it is almost always lost. There was a time when I always had a special book for that very reason. Time to relax with a cup of coffee.

https://amzn.to/4euaftn ā€œA Time to Write,ā€ is a composition notebook where words have a way to make you feel calm, create something new or encourage you to set all your dreams free. The lines of this composition notebook may not have any words now, but I am sure someone can change that. There are also a few pages that have a – to do list, and a debt tracker for bills or savings. Have fun with your wordsā€¦.

** Hello, I am adding affiliate links to my post. I am also going to keep my word and only post items I have some knowledge of and like. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase at no extra cost to you. Thank You. I appreciate your support. #affiliate links will take you to the Amazon websiteā€¦..

https://amzn.to/3QVii8Q This journal has a gratitude question page, answering a few questions can help you understand your feelings. There is a page to list your prayers. Also, a few cute pages with hearts on it to write down your memorable moments and grateful thoughtsĀ ā¤ļø ā¤ļøā€¦..

Bye IV Now, LD*

My Next Step

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I am in the middle of breaking down my second book and turning them into a blog post. I know I can get up to 50 pages copyrighted and each post should have at least 1,500 words. I was going to put an ad at the bottom of the post. 

That was my idea anyway. I knew I had to buy a plugin, but didnā€™t know it cost so much. Then I had a surprise to my question, because I thought adding  ads was affiliate marketing? The person who answered my question about the price seemed confused. 

Let me go ask google and see if I am right or wrong, because I am doing my best to keep a roof over my motherā€™s head and food for her to eat. Now I can and have gone to bed hungry, but I need that roof to be there.

{}This is the answer I got back from Google: Affiliate marketing involves promoting products or services through affiliates who earn commissions, while advertising typically uses display ads to reach target audiences directly. Both aim to attract customers, but their methods and personalization differ.{}

Okay, I believe I write, just saying it wrong, and I am moving forward. I I

didnā€™t want to go into my rent money, but I am. I will just have to cut my grocery list, because I have to step out of my not so comfortable zone and try something new.

I have already started doing that by doing Tai Chi. I am beyond tired of being in pain coming home from work, and I can no longer go for my morning walks on my day off.

I may not like change, but that is life. If we donā€™t change, then we get left behind, and I rather move forward. I am now going to take that next step, because tomorrow will be a better day.

I am also going to keep my word. If and when I add any ads to my post it will have something to do with my storyline and I will research the item if I hadnā€™t tried it myself.

**side note : I wonder how I could actually try new items? Another question to look up at another time.

Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV [18] ā€œForget the former things; do not dwell on the past. [19] See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

https://bible.com/bible/111/isa.43.18-19.NIV

Bye IV Now, LD*

Two Thoughts…..

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Two thoughts:

  1. The meaning of the word, ā€œSmileā€.

*https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/smile

Smile (noun) : a facial expression in which the eyes brighten and the corners of the mouth curve slightly upward and which expresses especially amusement, pleasure, approval, or sometimes scorn.

When a baby smiles, every adult gives a smile back. Is that smile, because he or she is happy or just has gas? That question will never be answered. Smiling is based on one’s feelings and maybe showing a different expression then what they are actually thinking. Example :

Happy ~ A full smile, with teeth showing

             ~ A full smile, without showing teeth.

             ~ A laughing smile

Thinking ~ one shows a smile, because their thoughts are happy, a good idea, or stopping themselves from saying some hurtful words to someone or binding their time until they can find another job.

Knowing ~ People judge you for every little thing and they believe their thoughts are true about who they think you are and you just look at them with a smile, because you know your self-worth and their opinions doesnā€™t matter. 

I didnā€™t realize my smile put people off and I donā€™t look friendly. I normally give a half of a smile, unless I am laughing, or get caught off guard when I am smiling for myself.

  1. Talking to the computer to type out your words. I thought that would be a good idea – until I did it.

When babies are smiling, are they smiling because they are happy     Smiling shows one feeling or does it? When babies smile, are they smiling ’cause they’re happy, they’re hungry, or  maybe it’s just gas?As we get older we we still smile when we’re happy. Or maybe we smile because we don’t want no one that know what we’re feeling. Smiling isn’t just.Showing teeth. Some people smile with their teeth.Some people smiled, their mouths closed ’cause they had bad teeth. Are they happy when you’re smiling? Are they thinking when they smiling or you?A smile could be for any reason, it just depends.And every, everybody’s face.Shows different emotions when they are smiling.I smell.Well it depends on what I’m thinking. If I’m just smiling cause hey.I’ll do a half smile.Enough normal for me.And that’s not what I look like. I’m not smiling to be performing. I’m not smiling just to be smiling. Sometimes I could be upset and I’ll put I’ll plaster a smile on my face.The bike might the hold back my words. Sometimes I’ll smile.That’s a quick thought, just come through my head and.Hey.And this is who I am.But a smack of me for mean anything. It’s all depends on how that person is feeling and how someone else looks at you when they see you smiling. Some people may think you’re smiling ’cause you.Let’s see, I’m gonna put this When a little kid is getting ready to do something, they’ll.Take take my niece foot for for for example.Just once you get an idea, something that she knows she’s not supposed to be doing, she’ll look up and look around. Then if she noticed someone looking at it, just she hold her head down a little bit. Then she had the smile on her face. It’s not a happy smile, it’s a interesting smile.Then I’m like, OK, what you doing? Whatever it is, don’t do it.Then you just have to laugh because a smile could either show what you what you’re feeling, show what you’re thinking, or don’t show it on.It just all depends on the person.So a smile could be more than just a smile.What’s in your smile say about you?What are you?Projecting towards the world When you smile, do you care what others think of you when you’re smiling?Does it matter?What people think about you if they see you smiling? Are you performing when you smile, or are you smiling for yourself?My question is.Why are you smiling? What makes you smile?Is it for someone else?Was it for you?Remember.A smile is more than just a smile. 

It came out as one large paragraph (what you see in yellow). I didn’t feel like turning it into something that makes sense. I donā€™t think I will be doing that again, but at least I answered the two questions I was thinking about. Itā€™s time for me to get back to work.

Bye IV Now, LD*

PS- I had what’s in yellow so small you couldn’t read it, but after it was copied & paste it got bigger.

Eyes Open……

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How many times am I going to open a closed door, and realize my own words, 

ā€œI AM MORE THAN WHAT THEY SEE.ā€

I had stopped working on this post, because I couldnā€™t go past the words I typed, the words I thought, and the words I said out loud ā€œI AM MORE THAN WHAT THEY SEEā€.  I thought I should add to this. Two days later I am at work, listening to my gospel music, and really starting paying attention to the words.

I’ve heard this song countless times, danced to it, and listened to it in the  background sound as I moved about my day. But, yesterday it had me in tears. Kirk Franklinā€™s ā€œSmileā€ https://youtu.be/Z8SPwT3nQZ8?si=hqRGNGMaj3vf8lPV

I had to stop and think, am I going back to punishing the herd to be seen and playing follow the leader or am I going to put myself first.

**sidenote : Last Sunday I offered one person a ride to service, because I can have 1 person ride free with me. She asked if another person could ride with us, ā€œno, because I don’t have extra tickets. I only work two days a week and can barely get bus tickets for myself. (Also the first thought that came to my mind was. This same person got a ride home from service, but left me there and you want me to offer her a ride?) I realized I reached out almost begging someone to be my friend.

Then I realized  something else, I was going to have to stop going to my Church group, because they have upped the dues and I’m not going to put myself out to try and be in a group that really doesn’t see meā€¦.

Eyes open and holding a Smile. I know my self worth and it’s time I show it, not to people, but to myself. 

Bye IV Now LD*