Good-Bye James

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Dear James,

 

I wonder if you can tell I have been ignoring you? I wonder if you think I am just busy?  I have read a few of the text that was sent, but refuse to answer the phone. I do recall answering a text informing you I was out with my son. I figured that would be the end of that, but your response was for me to text at the end of my day.

 

There is a part of me who wants to be honest and explain why I have to let you go. Then as always you hear what you want to ear and block out the truth.

 

Two worlds cannot stand as one you know the name Jesus, but you don’t know His strength. You don’t understand how words are POWERFUL.  MY faith will remain strong and if that means letting go of everything and everyone it’s done. My past is in my past and I am moving forward. I will not be like Lot’s wife and look back. 

                  

And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:  For we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the Lord ; and the Lord hath sent us to destroy it.

Genesis 19:12‭-‬13 KJV

https://bible.com/bible/1/gen.19.12-13.KJV

 

The Angels gave a warning. Lot took their words as the truth and did his best to get his family out, but those who didn’t live with him, wouldn’t listen, and they died. I don’t know if his wife didn’t believe or just couldn’t let go of the past and that’s why she looked back when warned not to.

 

We can either learn from our past and work hard to get free of past hurts, so we could enjoy our life to its fullest. True we won’t forget, but we don’t have to relive it either.

 

I had to read part of the book of Genesis and I got upset, because I agree that Lot should protect the Angels, but to sacrifice his daughters. Women should be protected, but we (I am a woman, so I am speaking for myself) are sometimes seen as less than dirt.

 

And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.  Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

Genesis 19:7‭-‬8 KJV

https://bible.com/bible/1/gen.19.7-8.KJV

 

Oops I once again got off of my subject. I have been telling you for years that you can find answers in the Bible. The Bible may word it differently, but what’s going on today isn’t new and in black and white you can find the answer to be free.

 

It is a battle to walk with God, but it’s a battle worth fighting for. I don’t understand how others can’t see His strength, His love, His wisdom, and He gives this and much more for free.

 

You knew I haven’t had a job in over a month and when I not only found an off for a good paying job. You know what you said, “you know you aren’t going to get it.” You laughed at your joke as I got upset. You apologized, but it wasn’t from the heart. Two days later. I thought my interview went well, but I didn’t get the job.

 

We didn’t talk for a few days and like always I accept your apology and overlook your hurtful words. Then you so call joked that I “don’t get sick,” I am still sick. This may all just be condensant and I shouldn’t end a 20 year friendship for this?

 

If we aren’t building each other up and encouraging the other to be more or at least better than what they are today, then what’s the point? You want to cry to me and poor all your problems (like I don’t have any of my own) and not listen to any of my subjects. I have told you the truth, but you want to do it your way.

 

I am shaking my head, because since you want to do it your way l. Why are you coming to me? When you joked about me giving you money and once again laughing it off. I can no longer close my eyes to your hurtful words. I know who I am and where I stand and it’s time to be free of you.

 

You brushed the Bible and Jesus aside everytime I talk about them. I tried to help clear your mind, but that wall gets stronger. You don’t understand me praying for you won’t do you any good, because without faith – faith cannot work. I either stay and allow you to cloud my mind or let go and be free. 

I like to think about trees. They change all the time, but their roots remain in one place. They grow stronger with each passing year and I want to do the same. I want to be stronger and help others be just as strong. I do pray for your well being and maybe you will understand who I am today for the girl you knew years ago is dead and a new woman has been reborn.

“Good – Bye” my old friend. 

 

Lisa

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