I Choose Me….

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I went to sleep with an idea how I was going to boldly change my steps and move from trying to do things the normal way. That way isn’t working and it’s something I have known for years, and even though I talked about not being afraid? I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I was actually hiding that feeling and I am just bring it to light.

I did start off right, but I almost got side stepped. I was supposed to have been working on new thoughts, but I found a story from my past and thought to just retype, but I knew that wasn’t going to work as I began to type. The feelings I had a few years ago do not hold up to how I am feeling now. I may go back and update it, but that day isn’t today.

One of these days I am going to overlook these red marks until the very end, like I tell myself I am going to do every time I start typing, but that hasn’t happened yet. I find myself correcting myself at the end of each paragraph. I wonder if I am alone in doing this? 

I just remembered a time long ago when I had to actually use  typewriter and it didn’t easily correct my mistakes. So, I guess I am pleased in this time frame. I am so happy with this time frame not just because of the computers, but because I know I can be more than just a mother.

I am going to cut myself off, because those last five words you just red came from what I had written before and its far from what I had planned to type. That is the main reason why I cannot work on writing my second series of books, because I am still reading books from published authors. I have my story in my head, but until that need to stop everything and work on it, it will stay where it is.

I have been on this job hunt for months and nothing has come from it. I have a few ideas on how I can do it my way and I am going to prove to myself this weekend that I can do it and on Monday morning I will make a call and do just that.  

I will not clean out my IRA totally, but enough to get things started, because I don’t see any other way to keep a roof over my family’s head and food in their tummy. I had thought I would open an “Etsy or  Shopify” account, but then I realized something. Why am I going to pay another company to sell my crochet projects, when I can start my own website and do the same thing. 

Well, I got up prayed, played “Township” my favorite online game (another reason to be grateful for this time frame), got into the Word (Bible reading) I am studying the book of 1st Sam and Saul needs to change his feelings against David, because I don’t believe it’s going to be good for him.   

 

When Saul realized that the Lord was with David and how much his daughter Michal loved him, Saul became even more afraid of him, and he remained David’s enemy for the rest of his life.

1 Samuel 18:28‭-‬29 NLT  https://bible.com/bible/116/1sa.18.28-29.NLT

 

There was a time when I thought you had to spend hours reading the Bible. Then I realized one cannot read the Bible like any other book, because this book is like no other book. This book makes you think and one should really understand what one is reading. There have been times when I was reading my life and it blew my mind. 

 I love my bible app on my phone, because if I ever start feeling down or alone I know the Word can always make me smile. One of the best things about this app is that you can type how you are feeling and it will pull of scriptures on that and open your eyes to the wonders of the bible.

I am about to get started on writing articles for my new project. I will have a website full of creative ideas and I know I will not be making a lot of money, but if you look at things through money you will never get anywhere. I believe that is where I went wrong. 

Doing the right thing isn’t always the right thing, if your heart isn’t in what you are doing. It’s a New Year and a time for a New me. You know what they say, “you either stand and fight or you lie down and die,” and I choose LIFE… 

 

                 Bye IV now, LD

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