How many times am I going to open a closed door, and realize my own words, 

“I AM MORE THAN WHAT THEY SEE.”

I had stopped working on this post, because I couldn’t go past the words I typed, the words I thought, and the words I said out loud “I AM MORE THAN WHAT THEY SEE”.  I thought I should add to this. Two days later I am at work, listening to my gospel music, and really starting paying attention to the words.

I’ve heard this song countless times, danced to it, and listened to it in the  background sound as I moved about my day. But, yesterday it had me in tears. Kirk Franklin’s “Smile” https://youtu.be/Z8SPwT3nQZ8?si=hqRGNGMaj3vf8lPV

I had to stop and think, am I going back to punishing the herd to be seen and playing follow the leader or am I going to put myself first.

**sidenote : Last Sunday I offered one person a ride to service, because I can have 1 person ride free with me. She asked if another person could ride with us, “no, because I don’t have extra tickets. I only work two days a week and can barely get bus tickets for myself. (Also the first thought that came to my mind was. This same person got a ride home from service, but left me there and you want me to offer her a ride?) I realized I reached out almost begging someone to be my friend.

Then I realized  something else, I was going to have to stop going to my Church group, because they have upped the dues and I’m not going to put myself out to try and be in a group that really doesn’t see me….

Eyes open and holding a Smile. I know my self worth and it’s time I show it, not to people, but to myself. 

Bye IV Now LD*