I am Still Being Me…

I refuse to give up. If it is something you honestly believe was meant for you to do or have. Then I say, “Don’t give up and keep working on your goal,” and I am doing just that.

It seems no matter how hard and how long you are working on setting your dreams free? It doesn’t seem to be working in your favor. You start talking about your dreams in hope that someone would give you the encouraging word to help you get past the mistakes or offer to help if they can.

The thought may be a good one, but in the end NOT everyone wants your dreams to be set free. You may even get some who will smile in your face and say, “that’s a good idea” or “you can do it, just don’t give up,” and you feel better. It will be after you have walked away when you actually picked up on their body language and realize there was NO meaning behind their words.

Then you may find one or two who actually do care, but have no way to help you. It is hard to overlook the shortcomings of others, because you want to believe everyone has a kind heart like yourself.

Is it really hard to not only be positive, but encourage others to share in that feeling? I know not everyone has the same beliefs, different cultures, but in the end we all are humans

I have to take a breath and try to understand that, sometimes it’s not just the different cultures that makes us different, but it is a people thing. 

I missed and lost my patience with a coworker, because she refused to move away from me. I was working on a display and she wanted to help. Mind you, I never asked nor did I  want her help.

Okay, she was bored. I accepted that and showed her how she could help, (away from me) and I thought that was good enough. She started doing it, good, but the second I moved away she did too.

I repeated it, and tried again to get back to work. “Is this right?” “What is this?” “Shouldn’t this go somewhere else?” Questions kept coming at me. “I just want to learn?” she says.

Muttering to myself and calling on Jesus and praying she just leaves me alone. I had to remind her, I told her and showed her what she could do. If you read the item in hand and look at what is on the table, then it will be okay. 

I went back to my post and stayed there until she went back to hers and tried again, but my shadow was also back. I kept on working until she started telling me what to do and I had to say in a calm voice. “I have been doing this for more than ten years and I know what I am doing. How about you do your job and watch me do mine.” She just stood there less than a foot away from me, with her arms folded and shaking her head at me. “Please for the love of your god, PLEASE move away from me.”

I didn’t realize I said that loud enough for customers and my manager to look over at us and yes she finally moved away from me. (oh I had asked quickly about three times before I lost control) I apologized to a customer, but she just said “No problem I have been there and I would have done the same,” because she noticed what was going on.

I told the manager I couldn’t just stand there all day with nothing to do and she’s bugging me when I do get something to do. She (the manager) said she would see what she could do.

I was able to calm down as I finished what I was doing. I know I need another job, but I really didn’t want to go to another deadend job. That’s when I realized I had almost given up on myself and my dreams.

Take a step back – a deep breath – close your eyes, and open them again –

Know who you are and where you stand – I have been reborn and I have No Fear.

The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?

Psalms 118:6 NLT

https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.118.6.NLT

Know you Can and Will set your dreams free – My Faith will ALWAYS get me moving past any doubts.

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

Mark 9:23 NLT

https://bible.com/bible/116/mrk.9.23.NLT

I am still working on my second blog: www.krochetcafe.com It isn’t where I want it to be, but I am learning as I go. I am also about to take another step in my waiting to do a job that will allow me to be more creative, and be happy. I know I cannot go back to school (for a interior decorator) for six years right now, but a certificate in home staging will work. 

The idea of going back to actually get that degree isn’t a second thought or off of the table. I will get that degree one day. First I am going to take small steps and as I graw, so will my steps…

                                  Bye IV Now, LD*

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