I clicked on past photos. The phone turned a few photos into a video and I smiled as I watched each one. When the video had come to an end, all 6 pictures were next to each other, and then I realized I was once again alone in a crowd.
I joined a senior group in my church, because I thought if I get out and go past my normal routine. I could maybe find someone who would talk beyond small talk. I wasn’t looking for a best friend, but maybe just someone who saw me.
I thought I was okay being alone in a crowd, but I am wrong thinking like that. When I kept to myself I wasn’t happy or sad, because that was who I am. Then I realized everyone needs someone even on a small level. I didn’t change who I was, just opened up a little and stepped out of my box.
A few people spoke, but only in passing if they saw me in service. I went to outings, talked to more people, and joined a few groups. All in all nothing has changed. A sad smile crossed my face, because no matter what I was tired. I am still alone in a crowd.
I am done thinking of ways to get people to notice me. I don’t have to have a lot of friends or people to hang out with, because I know I am loved. I can call or text the few people whom I actually call my friends (most of them no longer live in the same state) and I respond to their messages as well.
I’m looking at the words on my computer screen, not actually rereading, but remembering. I once lived in a world of words. I was happy and I like to go back to that feeling, but I won’t stay behind closed doors this time. I will go out and enjoy my life to its fullest. I don’t need to be in a crowd or even a small group. I just have to be me.
I need to get back to writing and writing my way. I like written words, in different colors of ink, underlining meaningful points, and not caring about my mistakes.
These are things you cannot do when you’re typing with this new age typewriter, because even now I can see the red marks pointing out my mistakes. Which makes me stop, go back and fix it, and hope I can go back to my original thought.
I am who I am and I will not change to fit it. I think I will work on my book, because I will stop living in this apartment with poor management and rude people.
[17] Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
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A Time to Write: #13 by Lysa’ Dee (Paperback) A notebook is more than pages stacked together in a pretty shell for taking notes, jotting down a quick thought or an idea for a story, or even a poem or two. “A Time to Write is a composition notebook where words may make you feel calm, create something new, or encourage you to set all your dreams free. Writing them down can be fun in this book, which has lines like any other book and a cute page to take notes.
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A Time to Write by Lysa Dee (Paperback)
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Assorted Color Pens, 8 pcs Mop Head Ballpoint Pens, Funny Topper Pens, with Plush Hair Writing Click Pens, Portable Cute Cartoon Multi-Function Signing Pens (colored gel pens) Brand: ONQLKL
** Hello, I just wanted to say there are a few affiliate links to my post. I am also going to keep my word and only post items I have some knowledge of or like. I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase at no extra cost to you. Thank You. I appreciate your support. #affiliate links will take you to : Amazon.com
Bye IV Now, LD*
3am Thunder of Words 
