Good~Afternoon James,

I hope you are well as I am. In one text you asked, “If I was still not talking to you”? I didn’t reply and I do apologize for sending a Christmas greeting, which maybe gave you thought we could continue to text or talk. I am not apologizing for the message, just a misunderstanding.

I do recall  sending another long text explaining how I need positive and uplifting people on my side. I know you have no idea how WORDS ARE POWERFUL  and even when I bring hurtful words to your attention you brush them aside like they are nothing.

I am working on a NEW me a BETTER me. I pray for you and your family, but we are not on the same walkway. I have just stepped out of my comfort zone and I just cannot handle anyone who isn’t on my side, because the world knows my name they come at me and full force and I have to be strong for that. I have God’s strength and a handful of people who I know will hold me up through the storm that is coming.

Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Ephesians 4:29 NLT

https://bible.com/bible/116/eph.4.29.NLT

 

I wish you well on your path and maybe one day we can start a new, because tomorrow isn’t written. To answer your question at this time we cannot talk or text and if one day you can truly understand what you have just read, maybe we could talk or text again. 

Take care                                                    An Old Friend, LD

 

I wasn’t going to post this, but since I actually got a reply? Your answer was that you wasn’t going to read it, how you have left others in 2019, but I still have a heart. I am praying this will end this, because I am not mad at you. I have just moved on…

Bye IV Now, LD

 

 

I went to sleep with an idea how I was going to boldly change my steps and move from trying to do things the normal way. That way isn’t working and it’s something I have known for years, and even though I talked about not being afraid? I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I was actually hiding that feeling and I am just bring it to light.

I did start off right, but I almost got side stepped. I was supposed to have been working on new thoughts, but I found a story from my past and thought to just retype, but I knew that wasn’t going to work as I began to type. The feelings I had a few years ago do not hold up to how I am feeling now. I may go back and update it, but that day isn’t today.

One of these days I am going to overlook these red marks until the very end, like I tell myself I am going to do every time I start typing, but that hasn’t happened yet. I find myself correcting myself at the end of each paragraph. I wonder if I am alone in doing this? 

I just remembered a time long ago when I had to actually use  typewriter and it didn’t easily correct my mistakes. So, I guess I am pleased in this time frame. I am so happy with this time frame not just because of the computers, but because I know I can be more than just a mother.

I am going to cut myself off, because those last five words you just red came from what I had written before and its far from what I had planned to type. That is the main reason why I cannot work on writing my second series of books, because I am still reading books from published authors. I have my story in my head, but until that need to stop everything and work on it, it will stay where it is.

I have been on this job hunt for months and nothing has come from it. I have a few ideas on how I can do it my way and I am going to prove to myself this weekend that I can do it and on Monday morning I will make a call and do just that.  

I will not clean out my IRA totally, but enough to get things started, because I don’t see any other way to keep a roof over my family’s head and food in their tummy. I had thought I would open an “Etsy or  Shopify” account, but then I realized something. Why am I going to pay another company to sell my crochet projects, when I can start my own website and do the same thing. 

Well, I got up prayed, played “Township” my favorite online game (another reason to be grateful for this time frame), got into the Word (Bible reading) I am studying the book of 1st Sam and Saul needs to change his feelings against David, because I don’t believe it’s going to be good for him.   

 

When Saul realized that the Lord was with David and how much his daughter Michal loved him, Saul became even more afraid of him, and he remained David’s enemy for the rest of his life.

1 Samuel 18:28‭-‬29 NLT  https://bible.com/bible/116/1sa.18.28-29.NLT

 

There was a time when I thought you had to spend hours reading the Bible. Then I realized one cannot read the Bible like any other book, because this book is like no other book. This book makes you think and one should really understand what one is reading. There have been times when I was reading my life and it blew my mind. 

 I love my bible app on my phone, because if I ever start feeling down or alone I know the Word can always make me smile. One of the best things about this app is that you can type how you are feeling and it will pull of scriptures on that and open your eyes to the wonders of the bible.

I am about to get started on writing articles for my new project. I will have a website full of creative ideas and I know I will not be making a lot of money, but if you look at things through money you will never get anywhere. I believe that is where I went wrong. 

Doing the right thing isn’t always the right thing, if your heart isn’t in what you are doing. It’s a New Year and a time for a New me. You know what they say, “you either stand and fight or you lie down and die,” and I choose LIFE… 

 

                 Bye IV now, LD

 

 

Time stop moving so fast

So many things to do

So many places to go

and the more I think about

Everything I need or want to do

My eyes close a second 

as I take a deep breath

and repeat what others have 

said before me

Time slow down, because

Today I am not feeling it

I still am thinking about

Last night dream and

Want to return to it

Oh well, one cannot

Stay in the house

And still

Set

Their

Dreams

Free

So, look out world

Here I come

Ready to

Fight

And WIN!

 

   Bye IV now, LD

A Life’s RECIPE
Something Sweet!!!

Ingredients

• Truthful and Meaningful words.
• No looking back and Willing to change.
• Strength and Knowing your worth.
• Letting go and Moving forward.
• Understanding who you are TODAY and Not who you WERE Y.E.S.T.E.R.D.A.Y.

Preparation

1. I wrote everything down from the good to the bad. I made a list of who I was, how I felt towards people, and what I wanted out of life. My list was long and unfocus. It took a few hours, days, years, but I did go back. I really read what I had written and my second list  was how to make my words become reality.
2. I gave up on life years ago and played followed the leader. I was a person without a heart. I allowed hurtful people to control my life. It didn’t matter who they were family who you thought would care, to people who call themselves your friend, or someone who didn’t even know your name. I talked and acted like the world, because I didn’t know who I was. Walking through life with your eyes and heart closed is not really living. I knew I had to change or I was going to die.
3. I was strong and I was ready to prove it to myself and  everyone.
4. Once my eyes were open and my mind was cleared I was a new person. I lost a few friends because they didn’t like who I was and I wasn’t going back to that person I was yesterday.
5. I have been reborn in Christ. I have a new outlook on my life and how I choose to live my life. I have some friends who are new and some I have known for awhile. They all know I will not go to the same places they go to, I don’t agree with their lifestyle, and I don’t talk like the world. I am not looking down on them, because I am not above nor am I beneath anyone. I will encourage you, give you strength when needed, and Love on you wholeheartedly. I expect no less from family or friends. I CANNOT and WILL NOT allow anyone in my life who doesn’t understand this, because WORDS are hurtful. I am so much more and I am NOT lonely where I would allow anyone to treat me less than how I treat them I am LOVED and I LOVE myself just as strong as Jesus LOVES ME!!!

Tips

 

We are all different and have a different way of looking at the world. I decided I wanted more. I saw love,  I saw the world, and I knew that if I wanted to experience any of those feelings and see the world. I would have to change. My change came when  the name Jesus, became more than just a name.

 

It’s up to you how you walk your path. I cannot do it for you. Some have asked why and how I changed. Simple, I started reading the Bible. I even sent a bible app that I read to a friend or two. I learn something new every time I hope my book or go to the app.  You can either go to the back of your book or type in your feeling and there is something that will help you. One can either accept me as I am today or they can say “goodbye” and move forward. My feelings will not be hurt and I hope they will feel the same. Life is too short to be worried if someone likes or dislikes you. You owe your life to No mortal man or women. Be honest and live your life the Best you can, because you are the only one who can make that happen.

 

The End!