Dear James,

         Its 9:28 in the morning and I know you worked a late night shift last night. I am hoping you are enjoying a restful sleep and nothing to do today other than rest.

         I wasn’t going to tell you this, but you know me. I am not good at holding secrets or admitting I was wrong. Yes, I said “I was wrong.” I can almost see you laughing and hear you screaming, “I told you so.” And, do not call me before you finish reading this, and I’ll allow one “I told you so.”

        You were right I was hiding behind my weight. Twenty years ago I didn’t look thirty years old and stopped working out, because as young as twenty three young ones was trying to talk to me. Fast forward to now at fifty at least the male bodies are in their forties, but still too young for me.

         I am shaking my head at this fool. Yes I gave a friendly greeting and answered a question. For some reason this out of shape old man seemed to believe it was okay to hit on me. He was confused why I wouldn’t go to his house, because he was lonely. I just smiled at him and said, “I’m sorry you feel that way, maybe you should go to a senior group, or find a church to join.” He made a face and walked away from me.

         I don’t know how I am attracting the wrong kind of men. I do know I stopped looking for my Mr. Right and started paying more attention to me. I am always in a clean outfit and every now and then a little more make-up. 

         I will get back to “Lisa” again. I don’t want to see this out of shape okay person anymore. I am happy, I am blessed, but I’m still not me. I have been hiding among everyone and it’s time to be me.

       I am laughing thinking about your words. You keep telling me I don’t have to lose the pound, because I look fine. The problem with those words, I don’t feel fine, and I am the only one who can turn that feeling around. I agree I will Never be a size 130 again, because I looked sick when I was in my twenties. I like a little weight, but under the 200 mark.

       Okay, I am ending here, because it’s time to get ready for service. May you enjoy your day and we will talk, write, or text at a later time



                            End. .


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