I am unclear of what I want to talk about, because there is so much I want to set free. How do you calm your mind, that is running wild, and all you want to do is bury your head under the covers?
The only problem with trying to hide, sooner or later you are going to have to come out for air. Your body is going to stop, and once again the voices in your head will start talking again. I guess you can pretend not to hear them and lose a good night’s sleep. Is it worth it? When you awake the next day, those same thoughts will return louder, and more bolder than before.
It will take over your life making it hard to pay attention at work, at school, or just being around your family or friends. That may not seem so bad at first. Then your performance at work starts lacking, you start snapping at people, and your manager may not care for the words that are coming out of your mouth.
You also may not be thinking clearly and quit a job you need to pay your bills. You lock yourself away from family and friends. And I can already see through you and you are thinking family is just blood and they are just there. Someone can always say they are your friends, but if you aren’t paying for meals or baby sitting are they really your friend?
Then there may be one or two that steps away from your thinking and really show you that they care. Do you push them away, because you feel they will not understand. They will only try to help you so many times before they go away. You start asking yourself if I did this:
- I can have a drink and that will clear your thinking. Does this really help? You may forget your painful thoughts for a while and be replaced with another, and reality comes back. What you were trying to drink away is still there.
- I can leave my home, family, friends, and start a new job in a new town. I can pretend to be someone else, but a lie is a lie no matter how you dress it. The truth will come out no matter how you try to hide it.
Did you know you can hurt yourself physically and mentally? Our body cannot hold in so much stress it will come out. It shows its ugly colors in so many ways if you just stop and listen. The head aches, sour tummy, and countless things I have no interest in listing them.
I have heard people like to go for a run, I would rather walk, and walking does help clear one’s mind. I start on my list and think about each item over and over until I have an answer. If I am still unclear of my next step I put my list on paper and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Once you put all the good and bad things in black and white (well blue and white for me, because I do not write in black ink) you may be closer to your answer. If not maybe there is one person whom you can talk to and accept an honest opinion.
I have learned not to over think and enjoy my life as best as I can and I am done. I make plans to improve my tomorrow, but never over stepping today. These are steps to get to your goal and if you look at what’s in between those steps you may enjoy your goal even more.
Take notes and maybe you can help someone else set their dreams free as you did yours. Remember, someone had to have inspired you, and how sweet would that be if you can do the same? I bet that would be a nice feeling.
Bye IV now, LD* (655 Word Count)