A New & Improve Me!

October 21, 2018

Hello BusyBody,

It’s time I say, “Thank You,” and I just did.

 

I am done hiding behind the fake smiles, ignoring the forgetful, and old lady jokes.  You are looking at me as if you know me and I sound like a broken record when I say, “enough is enough.” I wonder how do you Not see me?

I am honest, for it’s too much trouble to cover a lie. Although, I admit I avoid some subjects, because I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I wish others felt the same way. I help when and where I can. I stopped going out for others, when it means putting myself out, and I’m okay with that. I’m looking at people and the world differently, because:

 

1. I can’t go to heaven for you.
2. Nor can I go to hell for you.
3. I can’t tell you what to or not to do.
4. I can’t tell you how to or not to feel.
5. I have no control over your faith.
6. And you can no none of these things for me either.

 

So, after I shared my list of things I am planning for my 50th birthday, and you tell me “ you are going to be alone for my birthday,” and laugh as if it’s going to be true. True I will not be able to go to Hawaii for my 50th birthday,  (because it’s in 24 days) but I know I am not going to work on my special day.

I already knew I didn’t have that many friends (and I’m okay with that) and life gets in the way of fun. I made a list of things I wanted to do, because sometimes there are a lot of things to do and places to see in your own town that you are normally too busy to enjoy. Life is too short to not enjoy it. I go to work, church, the store, and to the laundromat.  I rarely go out or get invited anywhere, so why not get out and enjoy yourself. If no one joins me (I’m cool with that). I am Never alone, because Jesus love is within me. How can I be alone?

My birthday list:

1. Ihop – I like free pancakes.
2. At least 2 museums.
3. The movies. ( nothing I want to see until after the 15, so, that will be another day.
4. Hot Wings.
5. Music
6. A nice restaurant.
7. Flowers. (I will have to buy them myself, but I love “Me” and I am worth it.
8. I want to go shopping, buy something I want and not need.

 

I am not an over the top person and if you knew me, then you would know this.

 

Okay, let’s move on. When I didn’t give you the response you wanted, it took you awhile to find something to say negative about me. “You too grown to have your hair looking like that” and had the nerve to rub my hair. I was too stun for words, because I washed my hair, conditioned it, and styled it like I wanted. It was then that I realized – I am going to be polite and keep her on an “hello and goodbye” kind of acquaintance.  

I am ending this letter with the best wishes for you and yours. May you enjoy your life without putting anyone else down, because that’s not how you rise.

LD

 

 

Sounds, lights, air, and being comfortable goes unnoticed until one or more is missing. It’s not just when you are talking or trying to listen to the TV. The sounds that in-between your individual sounds. Cars and trucks going down the road, a cute little fan, dogs barking at anything that gets close to them, and even a bird or two. In other words life.

 

These are everyday sounds and one tends to drown them out and concentrate  on whatever they’re doing. There are times when you wish there was nothing, but quiet around you? I know I had that thought. After a tiresome day at work. People asking stupid questions or not liking your answer, and getting an attitude when your company doesn’t have what they are looking for.  You paste a fake smile and pray they go away thinking, “You know I just work here and I am Not the owner of the store, so go fuss at them and move away from me.” They may not hear the words, but looks can tell a story. You ask one more time with a fake smile in a go away voice, “is there anything else I can help you with?” They usually leave – thank you.

 

When you are able to put work behind you (at least for a few hours)  and all you want to do is put your feet up and relax. You may light a candle, turning the lights out as well as the TV. I can go along with that, but I still like a little bit of the world around me, because there’s alone and Alone. I don’t like to feel cut off from the world I am use too.

 

So, I am ready for this blackout to be over with, I and ready for the air to come back on, and the sound of any my favorite TV show. I wonder how come blackout don’t happen in the winter when one can add an extra blanket and be comfortable verses being hot with no chance of cooling off? Another unanswered questions.

 

                         The End!!

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Okay, there comes a time

when you have to say, “enough is enough”

and stop listening and start being yourself.

I listened to people talk to and at me.

They have something to say from my clothes

to how I am wearing them to my hair style.

The same reruns about my bags and make-up.

              I am not into the latest fashion,

(one, I didn’t like the 70’s when I live through it)

my clothes are cleaned

(yes sometimes wrinkled, but still clean)

and “no” I do not want an iron.

I know there are countless colors,

but that doesn’t mean

I have to go out of my comfort zone

or wear colors I  don’t like.

True they may be simple, but they match.

(and my favorite colors are pink and yellow)

-You  can whatever color you like.

I dress my age and my weight

and I dress for me.

I would like to wear high heels again,

one day, but until then

a nice pair of flats will do.

If you get your eyebrows done,

add a little more color on your face,

and maybe some jewelry?

Funny, I got my brows done,

and a little lip gloss works best for me.

And, I without a bag means

– no crochet

– no books  

all in all would not be me.

I like headbands

I’ve lost count being told

I shouldn’t.

I actually stopped wearing them,

but today I had to be me.

I am Smiling, because

I missed me, Lee!

No more listening

to meaningful

or meaningless

People

and

Start being

Me!

The

End!