Today is June 1st, 2020 not only the first day of the month, but a start of a new day. I along with the world are in some trying times. I don’t care what anyone says. I am going to keep praying for family, friends, and every life on this earth.

I am not going to say, “One” race is better, because we are all human. I could say more, but I am not going to go beyond that.

I started my first “blog review,” it’s like a book review, but am reading blogs and not books. I want to promote anything about the art of crochet as much as I can. It doesn’t always have to be about making money.

I have no intention of teaching,(at least not right now)so reading is just as good. Books are great, but blogs are a little more personal. Who doesn’t like reading a short story or two? I will add in a book or two, if I find one that holds my attention.

I will read a few more and drop down a note or two. I am getting closer and closer to getting my website free. I did realize I need to get back to writing, because now that I have gone back to working in the real world. I am not going to have much more free time.

My words are all running together and all I want to do is work on my “boy” rainbow blanket. This one is also way too big. I should have taken it out, before I got past the third row, but Like before. 

I didn’t want to stop and redo stitches all over gain. Then I got to thinking, rainbows are big anyway, and why not keep on going? My pink rainbow is just about the size of a twin size bed or a small loveseat. I am not sure how big this blue rainbow blanket will be. Time will tell how big this blanket will be in the end.

I also realized I need to do a little more research. I also want to post about cross stitch. I enjoy this long and forgotten task. I am hoping I don’t have to go online to actually buy a book, but still be able to read more on cross stitch online. 

Tired eyes want to close. How is it my body wants to rest, when all I want to do is work, and your mind is being overloaded with everything.

It’s time to make a list and do them all. A little goes a long way to setting your dreams free. One will always be surprised at what they can do if they just stop thinking and start doing.

My thought for today is just that: “STOP thinking what you cannot do, DO what you can, and PLAN for what you cannot do today.” If that means you have to go back to school, or even just learn from going to the library.

We can always learn, because there has always been someone willing to teach what they know. If there is a question, there is an answer, and we have to fight to get that answer. I guess it all depends on if you really want an answer? I have answered my question and it’s time to get back to work. I am Smiling, because I am HAPPY!!!!

Bye IV Now, LD*                                      (575 word count)

 

Some may say dreams are just dreams, but dreams can become reality.    I have always enjoyed writing so I write. I started just writing poems and funny short stories. I was having fun. I knew they weren’t perfect, I hadn’t gotten past the fun side of words, and that was okay for me. I made the mistake in allowing others into my space and with their laughter  and few negative words from people who I thought care. 

I lost a part of myself and it took over twenty years to get back to the person I once was and then some. I got back into writing as a part to yell without sound and create a world where I could be free of reality. I wasn’t writing for fun anymore, but once I was able to truly calm down.

I realized I was once again writing as well as taking pictures. I started recalling dreams of the past and wondering how I could hold onto this feeling for the rest of my life? The answer was simple: I just have to be me.

I didn’t realize I had just put off on a project I have been wanting to do for a few months now. I kept on reminding myself that my brother is working on my website for me, and I can just wait until he is done with it. I had an idea of what I wanted and how it’s going to go about making it a reality. 

I have a few short stories already lined up and a number of other plans. It really doesn’t matter how much you plan or imagine how a project will turn out. If that project isn’t real, it is just a dream, and it cannot be free.

You start thinking:

1. Is this a good idea?
2. I don’t have any idea on how to do this?
3. I should just let this be a dream.

If you start letting in the “DOUBTS” and “what if’s” talk to you as you allow your so called friends did years ago. Then I guess your dreams will just be dreams. 

 I am choosing to stop thinking of things that I have no control of and move forward. I am the only one who can stop me. I know who I am and above the words “I CAN’T”.

I have also stopped trying to change my look. I have natural curly hair and spent years trying to change that. I had stopped with the perms, too much work, and my hair was coming out. I pulled my hair back or pressed it out. No more. 

If I can step up and step out of fear in setting my dreams free. I can accept my hair as it is. I am going to read more about working on Pinterest and come back to my short story on my blog.

I am laughing, because someone told me I wasn’t really working on a blog, because my stories aren’t long and I am NOT sticking to one subject. I could only laugh at them, because they do not even have a blog. I was polite and said, “I am me and that’s all I can be. Who wants to act like someone else? Feel free to play, follow the leader and enjoy your game”.

It’s May 29th at 3:23pm still light outside, so with one side step I am going to get some info on how to set my dream free myself, and stop waiting for someone else to do it for me. Then I will work on my second rainbow project. I will return on Monday and continue this thought. If I didn’t have to work this weekend, but the real world had to come back sooner or later and it’s my time to be back in it……

(4:38pm) I am all Smiles, because I already knew the answer to my question. I know I am an honest person and therefore I can only promote items that I knew were good. I may not have a website, but who knows if you really need to have one? Well, I sent that question to Yarnspirations, and they are the only ones who can say “yes” or “no”.

I am closing my book and will be picking up my “boy” rainbow project and crochet throughout the night. I may have been reading from the computer, and I know I could just type in my personal notes. I still shake my head at that. I will never get tired of the feel of an ink pen in my hand writing down a thought or something personal. 

I wish I could remember what book I read about a young lady who was an anthropologist, (a person who studies history) and she changed the color of her ink as she took notes.  I actually started my church notes doing that and it made it easy to go back and look something up. 

The book I use for my church notes would look like this:

 

• Sunday Morning service notes are – Pink with purple if I had to underline something I felt was important.
• Sunday Bible study notes are – Red with a light blue ink to underline anything I wanted to stand out.
• Wednesday midweek service is – Dark blue with pink to use for my important thoughts I wanted to underline.

I also learned to bring extra pens, because a person or two has asked to borrow a pen. I smiled and handed one over, but that threw my color guide off. In my mind I was yelling “NO,” but that only happened once. I now carry a few black ink pens in my bag. I will NOT use that ink. 

Writing in black ink always makes me think about one teacher who wouldn’t accept any work unless it was in black ink and I don’t want to be remembering her while I am writing. It wasn’t until the end of my last year of that school when she told everyone it was a joke, she just wanted everyone’s papers to be alike. I still don’t think that was funny.

 

Bye IV Now, LD*                                    (1026 Word count)

 

I had to stop playing my “Township” game, because it was 10:45am EST. I have gotten into the habit of enjoying my coffee as I watch the ladies from “The Real,” and have fifteen minutes to get ready. I had given up on getting my favorite coffee creamer, because every store I have been in for weeks. I found Amaretto – International Delight Coffee Creamer.

I kept on thinking about the cost of a manicure and a pedicure which was only $65.00. I believe that was a good deal. Yes, your fingers and toenails look cute, but what happen to you not having any money to pay back the $200.00 you owe me?

I know I no longer have stressed over things that were done to me or said to or about me. I had so many headaches and once I finally took control over my mind, my body just fell in line, and all that bad energy I was allowing to control me was gone.

To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ;

2 Corinthians 2:10 KJV

https://bible.com/bible/1/2co.2.10.KJV

 

I surprised myself when I saw a person’s name and their deed was brought back to life. I have spoken to this person, we may never be friends again, but I am not the one to hold onto grudges anymore. I say we are  now passing friends.

What does the word friend mean to you?

1.  Two or more people who are close enough to know mood changes. If you are upset, they will know how to make you smile, and help you workout whatever it was that caused you to be upset. They do not run when you are going through a rough time. I wouldn’t even blink, but they would stop whatever you were doing and help out. 
2.  You may not have always laughed at the same jokes, or liked the same movie, but everyone could agree that you enjoyed each other’s company. 
3.  You knew when to give an encouraging word, or a calming hug when needed.
4.  You know you are in a safe place and there was no need to worry if you would be hurt, because you took your time to get to know the people in your circle. Trust and honesty and good values are what you saw and that’s why you called them your friend.

What is a passing friend? Is someone you once called a friend. You do not see yourself as their friend, but you still acknowledge them. If I saw Gina “whom I now consider a passing friend” I would greet her in a kind voice, ask how she was doing, and wish her well before I continued to walk away.

I will always wish that person not, but good health and a blessed life. Now before you get to be a passing friend, I have listened to you, I have tried to believe you, but a lie is a lie. So, I am good.

I read a book years ago and it always kept me from going back into any painful thoughts. “Having our say, The Delany Sisters  the first 100 years,” by Amy Hill Hearth, Elizabeth Delany, and Sarah Louise Delany.   https://g.co/kgs/wX7Ypp 

I know I am looking at this through my eyes, but I don’t understand how she couldn’t do the same. I am a single parent who only had a part time job, without any help, and barely paying my bills. I had to go into secrecy and be out of work for six weeks. I BEGGED you to at least give me some if you couldn’t give me all of what you owe me.

I stopped calling as well as sending text for over a month. I totally ignored you whenever I saw you and kept it moving. You showed your true colors and I was done. Then one day you asked me to lunch and a ride home from service.

My first thought was to politely say, “no thank you,” but I didn’t. The small talk was cool at first, but after 30 minutes you didn’t say what I thought we were supposed to be talking about. I must have had a look on my face and you then started telling me about a lawsuit you were going through and how you were going to pay me back from that.

“I’m like really,” but kept those words to myself. The next day instead of taking me home from service you had to have her nails done. The whole time I was there I was thinking:

1. I would start in the produce section: tomatoes, potatoes, onions, peppers, lettuce, spinach, carrots, lemons, and at least two fruits that were on sale.
2. I would then make my way through each aisle: condiments,canned veggies,cereal and dried fruit, coffee and juice, cleaning supplies and tissue, frozen yogurts, milk, and some meat.

If there was anything left from that $65.00 I would have gotten some toothpaste or treated my son to a new book. I know baking soda works, but it doesn’t taste all that good.

My mind was blown away when you dropped me at my door and repeated how you would pay me back at a later time. I agreed with what the Delany sisters had said about forgiving, but you will always remember.

I am laughing, because Gina had the verse to say “You said I didn’t have to pay you back.” I told her what I really said which was, “I forgive you for not keeping your word in paying me back. May God bless you and enjoy your life.”

I made sure I blocked her phone number and her name from my facebook page and I have moved on. We still go to the same church and at first I just being  polite to others who kept on asking me about her until one day I broke it down to them, how, and why I do not hang out with her anymore.

I didn’t want to go there, but enough was enough. And, yes those questions have stopped, and that’s a good thing. I may see her once in awhile and 

Me   : Hey.                                                Gina : Hey how are you?                           Me   : I’m fine. Glad the sun is out, have a good day. (And walk away)

I have suggested this being a passing friend to my son and he has agreed and does the same thing. It has worked for him as it did me. You are not hurting anyone’s feelings, unless they ask you why you no longer hanging out with them, but then again they already know. 

Once a person sees that you are not going to turn back to them, they move on, and in the end you are better off without them. It is good to “Forgive & Let GO!”

Bye IV Now, LD*                                    (1170 word count)

I am unclear of what I want to talk about, because there is so much I want to set free. How do you calm your mind, that is running wild, and all you want to do is bury your head under the covers?

The only problem with trying to hide, sooner or later you are going to have to come out for air. Your body is going to stop, and once again the voices in your head will start talking again. I guess you can pretend not to hear them and lose a good night’s sleep.  Is it worth it? When you awake the next day, those same thoughts will return louder, and more bolder than before.

It will take over your life making it hard to pay attention at work, at school, or just being around your family or friends. That may not seem so bad at first. Then your performance at work starts lacking,  you start snapping at people, and your manager may not care for the words that are coming out of your mouth. 

You also may not be thinking clearly and quit a job you need to pay your bills. You lock yourself away from family and friends. And I can already see through you and you are thinking family is just blood and they are just there. Someone can always say they are your friends, but if you aren’t paying for meals or baby sitting are they really your friend?

Then there may be one or two that steps away from your thinking and really show you that they care. Do you push them away, because you feel they will not understand. They will only try to help you so many times before they go away. You start asking yourself if I did this:

• I can have a drink and that will clear your thinking. Does this really help? You may forget your painful thoughts for a while and be replaced with another, and reality comes back. What you were trying to drink away is still there.
• I can leave my home, family, friends, and start a new job in a new town. I can pretend to be someone else, but a lie is a lie no matter how you dress it. The truth will come out no matter how you try to hide it.

Did you know you can hurt yourself physically  and mentally? Our body cannot hold in so much stress it will come out. It shows its ugly colors in so many ways if you just stop and listen. The head aches, sour tummy, and countless things I have no interest in listing them.

I have heard people like to go for a run, I would rather walk, and walking does help clear one’s mind. I start on my list and think about each item over and over until I have an answer. If I am still unclear of my next step I put my list on paper and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. 

Once you put all the good and bad things in black and white (well blue and white for me, because I do not write in black ink) you may be closer to your answer. If not maybe there is one person whom you can talk to and accept an honest opinion.

I have learned not to over think and enjoy my life as best as I can and I am done. I make plans to improve my tomorrow, but never over stepping today. These are steps to get to your goal and if you look at what’s in between those steps you may enjoy your goal even more.

Take notes and maybe you can help someone else set their dreams free as you did yours. Remember, someone had to have inspired you, and how sweet would that be if you can do the same? I bet that would be a nice feeling.

Bye IV now, LD*                                      (655 Word Count)