Dear James,

I am still amazed that I allowed you back into myspace and after being away for more than three months or longer. You act like you had never left at all. I knew I wasn’t going to get an apology, because you do not see that you can do no wrong.

The more I listen, the more you are still in your own world, and no one else matters. I find it a very sad state.You did your best to get me to talk like you, act like you, and even get upset all within ten minutes. 

I wonder if you were confused when no matter the outrageous thing you said to me. I didn’t give you the response that you were hoping for. I want to say, “the world has a lockdown – where one has to stay home,” but I am not sure so I can only talk about my country. And here in America we are supposed to stay home and be safe. (Now I like to know if it is a worldwide thing) google time.. Google just said this lockdown is world wide, so there’s a sad answer..

I believe one of the dumbest things I heard you say was, “You know if you drink strong alcohol you can’t get the virus and black flocks can’t get it either”. You even told me some drinks I should drink. One you know I don’t drink and I had to go. I could no longer even half listen to what you were saying.

Me   : Well, I have to say, “goodbye.”

You :   Why you don’t have anywhere to go.

Me   : It’s 7 o’clock and I like to eat my dinner.

You :  Oh what are you going to eat

Me   : Chicken

You :  I had that yesterday –

I had to cut you off, because I was no longer going to let you talk. You have always wanted to control how long we talked, what we talked about, or better yet what you wanted to talk about. I didn’t change my tone or my thoughts. I said goodbye and hung up. I must have surprised you, because you text me saying how nice it was to talk again. 

I didn’t respond to that, because it wouldn’t have stopped. I wondered if that surprised you as well. I was good at cutting you out of my life, because of your “ME” attitude among other things. Then as I was talking to another friend and realized I had made allowances  for her, so why not you? 

She knows who Jesus is and the Word. There are times when she isn’t as positive or letting too much reality in her  space. I do not understand and have tried to understand. Then again as she points out she is almost 70 years old and she isn’t going to change how she thinks or what she knows.

I do not agree and it’s cool, because I am me.  I am not going to change what I believe, how I feel, or how I act to get a friend. I lost myself to a point of not knowing I was, because I wanted to have  friends. It took me over thirty years to realize I am happy to just be me.

Someone asked me why I didn’t have a lot of friends? My question for them was, how do you have a personal contention to a large group and are these people really your friends? If you are going out and you are paying for things or always there to help from babysitting or just to listen to their bad day. If you need help, how many will come to your aid?

I do not need to be in a large group of people all looking bad judging you. I have a few friends who I know I can count on and some who I know I can just talk to on a light note and both are good. If you know what kind of friend they are and who they are to you, no feelings will be hurt, and all is good.

A few months ago when an older gentleman from my church crossed the line. I had wanted to talk to my friend “James,” but James was being James and I was done with that one sided friendship.  Then when I had a second thought. I opened the door again and nothing has changed. I was surprised this question “how are you” wasn’t asked first? 

I didn’t give you a second thought as I hung up, but I am now. I may have wanted a male point of view. You may be a male, but I need to talk to a real man and that isn’t you. I am not sure I did the right thing by opening your closed door was a good idea. 

I am going to stop thinking about you all together and as  I think about my coffee I am smiling. It’s time to get a cup of coffee and that is worth a Smile…..

Bye IV Now, LD*

I had planned on writing what I learned a few days ago about what and how a “blog” is supposed to be written and an answer from my “How do you make money on pinterest?” You need a website (and I do not want to talk about a website right now), a pinterest account, and a blog.

I am like I already have a blog, so I can check that step off of my list. I have always wondered why most blog’s I have read are more like mini books and not short stories. I enjoy coming up with a short story or just thinking out loud in a creative way. By writing  (typing) something real or just writing from the heart. There is a lot more than just that.

(2:49pm) I have to go back to my notes, because this was a part of another story. I should have continued to add on to it, but I like writing short stories. Anyway I may have an idea of what I wanted to say, I need to remind myself of a past thought, and stop thinking about a great book I just read.

(2:57pm) One way to make money is to have ads on your blog (account) and it has to have been up and running for at least three months. The one statement that had me wondering what and how did you get a large monthly session for a blog mean? A session is the amount of people coming to your page.

I read that one has to have 30,000 or more words and that sounds like a book to me. I agree that you should write about something you enjoy doing, it’s called a “niche,” but what if you like more than one thing? Do you start another (page) blog for each thing you like or do you just add onto one?  

I don’t like the idea of counting each word and not paying attention to what I am thinking. I know before I go over my work I could see where I am at and add onto my thoughts, but that will take all the fun out of my writing. Am I writing to make money? Am I writing, because I enjoy the world of words? These are questions every writer has to ask themselves and everyone writes for their own reason.

 Oh, I also read in more than one article on “how to make money with a blog” you would have to set it up on their site and it got me thinking that’s how they make their money? I might be wrong, but I could be right? If trying to get others to set up a blog through your site is how you make money on a blog, then it will not work for me.

It is a good thing I don’t just take the first thing I read to heart. I had thought about starting my own online magazine, but I knew I needed a website. A magazine one could talk about many different creative things and a website seems to just want you to buy stuff.  Wow, I just had a question, “can you have a magazine in place of a website to make money on pinterest”? (3:42pm) Let me go online and get an answer? (3:54pm) I got sidetracked, but I did get an answer. You have to have a website.

I have a few items that can be sold, but I am just one person and don’t have a lot of crochet items. I was thinking of bringing in a few extra people who I know have their own site. Then I realized  that wasn’t going to work either, because I am not to give free advertisement to someone else.

I had thought I would start a bluehost page, thinking that was how to start a website, but I was wrong. I also realized I didn’t have to have a lot of items in stock, because I will not be selling my items as if I do. 

I just realized I got sidetracked and it’s cool, because I found a way to have a website and sell my craft my way. Well, my brother has a better idea on how to set it (the website) up the way I want, and set up a Pinterest business account as soon as my website is up.

I am just about done with this thought and was wondering what was my word count? Wow I may have two pages, but I have less than 800 words and I am okay with that….

Bye IV Now, LD*

                        4/1/202 ~ 10:18am

Today was the first day I kept my word to myself. I went outside and started my walk. I had a plan on where I was going, but I didn’t really know how long that would take. I may have lived in my area for almost a year, I still haven’t been totally around my new neighborhood, and I am going to change that a little at a time.

During this time of being away from others and not able to go to work. I am not moving much. When I was working and on my feet for more than six hours, I wanted a job sitting down, and now that I am sitting down a lot. I feel the need to move.

Five minutes into my walk I realized I didn’t have any workout clothes, so even if I did want to go to a gym, I had to go shopping first, and that will have to be put on hold until I get back to work.

 My goal was at least forty five minutes. I was only short by fifteen minutes. I am hoping it doesn’t rain, because I plan on going back out. I am going to push myself for that forty five minutes. I cannot be a better me just sitting around working on my crochet.

Time for a cup of coffee, because 12 o’clock will be here soon enough.

                             April 2nd, 2020 ~8:30am

I can’t believe I forgot to come back and finish my thoughts. Then again yesterday I was going from one project to another and trying to do it all. That doesn’t always work out. The rain stopped my second walk, but I did dance for thirty minutes. That was something and I enjoyed crocheting out on the patio until I picked up my blanket today.

I held up my blanket and it’s getting bigger as expected. I didn’t see my mistake at first, so I kept on working on it, but had to stop and really look at it. I looked at my pattern and at first glance I didn’t see it. It happens sometime when you are working with so many colors. I guess that is one of the reasons I usually only work with two or three. My rainbow blankets have nine colors and yesterday I got six rows wrong without noticing it. I took it out and I am redoing it now.  There was a time when I wouldn’t have even thought to take it out, but today is a new day.

I know if I ever work with this many color changes I will be getting paid starting at  a hundred dollars. Although a few people have told me I charge too much for my blankets. I look at them like they are crazy. I will not just be charging for the cost of the yarn, but for my time it took to go get the material, but for my time as well.

It takes anywhere from six weeks to three months to make a blanket. Then again it also depends on the size and amount of yarn that will be used for each project. It also depends on the style and my time. 

I am laughing, because one person (who does not crochet) said it should take more than two days to do a blanket. If you don’t know how to crochet, then how are you going to know how long it takes to make? I even was told how their grandmother or aunt had once done a full blanket in just a few days. I’m like that’s good for them. Now  my question is, “were they working outside of the house as well as going to the store to get supplies for the house? Was they working around the house from cleaning to cooking? Was they taking time to go to service or just spend some time with family and friends?” 

So one should never put me in someone else’s shoes, because we all have a life to live and our steps are not the same. You may think you know me, but no one really does. I do not know and I do not care to know your every step and that thought should be agreed on.

I have been in the house so long that I honestly didn’t know what day it was. I was enjoying working on my crochet as I watched TV or going out on the patio just to say I got some fresh air. I am grateful to see my project grow but since I made it a little too big and without a job I have no extra money to get more yarn. So, I am thinking about putting it aside, to prolong it as much as I can, but I am loving this project.

I do have other projects I could work on. I even started looking into working online. I love Pinterest and there are a lot of websites saying how much you can make and it starts off being free, but somewhere before the end it’s has a cost. It sounded like one that you didn’t have to pay, but you have to get others to buy something from you. I don’t like to be con and I am not going to do it to others.

What’s that saying, “Do to others as you wish done to you?” I know not everyone is honest or cares about others. It’s a little sad, but life goes on. I am going to be me and pray for others and just enjoy my life as best as I can.

Although I want to get my needle in my hand, as well as read more ideas on how to work online, I can feel a slight pain starting on the right side of my head. Not a problem a good cup of coffee will take that pain away. 

I actually want to talk (type) what I have learned and it also explained a lot of unanswered questions I had about blog writing. I am also second guessing about my writing, but then —

I am going to cut myself off and get my coffee. 

Bye IV Now LD*

Nothing like a hot shower to get one to stop thinking so much and calming down to start putting stuff in order. We are living in unknown times where your government is telling you to stay home or just your surrounding area (as long as it’s not a large group of people). If you are working at an essential job, (which I am not, so only working a week. I am told the store will be closed for 30 days and they will let me know when I can come back) and have to carry a note from your job saying you are a needed employee, otherwise you may go to jail. 

You can go to the grocery store or to the pharmacist to get your medication, but no other reason for you to be walking out in your hometown. I know this is better than being on house arrest, because we do get to go outside. It may be time limited as well as an area, but what can you do? Nothing, but follow directions.

Day 1: I did my hair. I just wish I could braid my hair in a nice design and as tight as I could do someone else’s hair. It doesn’t really matter, because where am I going? Nowhere in the physical world anyway. Good thing for the internet as well as a book or two.

Day 2: I finally took time to do my nails the whole nine yards meaning:

1. Hands soaked for 5 minutes in a fruity smelling soapy water.
2. Vitamin E applied to freshly cleaned and shaped nails.
3. Next came Sally Hansen clear hard as nails.
4. I didn’t realize I had so many different colors, because it took almost ten minutes to come up with a good combination of colors that I liked.
5. Two different main colors for my fingers  as well 2 different colors for the second coat.

I really wanted to call it a day after all of that and I was happy with my hands. Then I thought I still had my nail kit out. I might as well go to that next level and do my feet. The good side to soaking your feet is you can read and enjoy the hot soapy water.

I don’t know if I was told or it was read if your feet are, “happy” everything else in your body is “happy”? How true that is, I’m not sure, but I do know once I saw the purple nail polish on each toe it made me smile. 

Day 3: I recall seeing a lady wash her body with coffee grounds and thought that was something. I saw a big mess, but then it got me thinking. I have been meaning to give my face a good scrub, so why not try this:

• Cleaned face with dove soap.
• Leaving my face wet as I place cold coffee grounds on my face (not getting too close to my eyes.
• I also had cold tea bags for my eyes as well as a cold face mask.

I might have gone a little too far with the tea bags, because I wanted to lay down with my face art for twenty minutes. I only lasted ten minutes. I didn’t like the feel of the tea bags. They were dry after I used them to make iced tea with, but I raised them off with cold water. I’ll try it again, without raising it.

 I learned 2 more things about this coffer face mask. 1. It does leave your face smooth and smelling good. 2. Have lots of clean towels close by, because it is messy.

I did work on my cross stitch project. I am so over this project, not because it takes time, but it wasn’t my first choice. I messed the first one up and couldn’t find the blue back ground like I liked the first time around. I really hate changing the look of a project I saw in my head. I realized that is why it’s taking way too long and I can’t work when I am upset.

A good friend is going to have an angel and I couldn’t wait for her to tell me if she’s going to have a boy or a girl. I then realized I didn’t want to give her the ordinary baby colors. I also wanted this blanket to grow with the child, so why not make a rainbow blanket. I am really thinking outside of the box. It took me two days to find the right pattern and another day to find someone I could understand their directions.

On the third day I found a person who explained as she showed you how to do each stitch. The problem was I am an American and she was explaining it in two different names for each stitch. Example: What  I call a single stitch she called it a double stitch and so on. 

I just couldn’t follow her and she had the first pattern I liked in those two days of searching. I was frowning once again as I started over once again. I found two, and even though I picked one. I couldn’t get it out of my head that it wasn’t totally right. I went through YouTube one more time and I saw the same stitch in a different way and I liked part of that one best. 

I am making the body of my blanket in the second view, but the outline of it will be done in the first pattern I saw. I am so happy with my choice and even though I have NEVER worked with so many different colors before, it feels good.

I am calling this a rainbow blanket, but it’s from my point of view. It doesn’t really look like a rainbow. It’s cool, because sometimes being creative takes one outside of the box.

I wonder what the next twenty six days will look like? Oh, this is Day 4, with my writing, and it’s about time. I do have more I want to type out, but the sun is calling me. I will be on my patio working on my rainbow and doing what I do best? Crocheting of course…..

Bye IV Now, LD*