A deep breath in and a slow release of that same breath of air. A smile knowing you are keeping your word. I just finished a thirty minute walk and two bottles of water. Now that may not seem like much to most, but I am not concerned with anyone else. This is my journey and I am smiling.

 

Yesterday (Sunday July 28th, 2019) was the first time in a month I was able to praise in dance at church. I was standing longer and the pain in my back wasn’t part of service. The pain did return, but I was grateful for the pain free time I had.

 

 Just like that story of the  “turtle in the hare” slow and steady wins the race. Well, I am not in a race, but I will win on being a better me, and doing it my way.

 

       The End!!!!

 

Its 5:31am now (up since 4:15am playing township ~ my little country in the city online game) and the sun isn’t up. I realized eating a light dinner may sound like a good idea, but not if your tummy wakes you before the sun.

 

Well, now that I think about it, this is my work day schedule, but I don’t have to go to work.  Now there are times when I can sleep and have to get up and times (like today) when I am on my time. I should be able to sleep.

 

There’s nothing I can do, but start my day. In away it’s a good thing. I can get to the store early, before the sun gets it too hot to walk, and back in the air to enjoy my coffee.

 

Who says one has to sleep late on a Saturday? One day, but not today.

 

                    The End…

I need to get back to being alone in a crowd, because I found some people like to live in the past. I am not perfect and will never try to be. It took me a moment to learn from past hurts and move forward.

 

I wonder why people want to play games. They are saying things that seems to encourage you, then they will bring up the past, and continue to tell you how to live your life.

 

Am I so weak that I don’t see what you are doing? I have moved on. I have learned that if you hold onto the past, one cannot move forward, and be happy. Its funny, because people have noticed that change. In reality I didn’t really care, because it’s my life.

 

There’s is always going to be that one person who no matter how much they seem friendly, they are not really your friends, and they are the ones who need to be a passing friend.

 

I always wonder why a church family, who is friendly, but keeps to herself. I now understand and wish I hadn’t opened up as I did. I lived in New York City for a few years and pretty much kept to myself, but  I wanted to change. Well, at least be more friendly around my church family (still polite towards others). 

 

I have made some real friends and I am slowing down on who is real and who isn’t. It’s sad when others who see you are moving forward and try to bring you down. The funny thing is, she didn’t get me upset, and she noticed it. She then said something else, but grateful it was time for me to get off of the church bus. 

 

~I just realized the driver looking at her through the mirror & the next thing I knew he was driving me home first. Normally we get dropped off the number we were picked up, and I was the last one picked up. I am so grateful he either picked up on what was going on or because he knew I wasn’t feeling well ~ he changed the order. So grateful~

 

                     The End!!!

I decided I wanted to crochet a new blanket. I knew I wanted a simple stitch, but nothing like anything I have already done. So I go to YouTube and look for that new stitch. I believe I am following a few people, but I don’t go to their page at first, because I wanted to look through a few stitches first and without knowing the names of these stitches, it works better (at least for me) to look through five or more. Once I find what I like (after writing the name of the stitch down) I would go to my favorite person’s page and see if they have what I am looking for.

 

If by chance they don’t have it, I’ll retype the name of the stitch, listen and see if I can follow a new person. My advance is not settled for the first one you click on, because the next one or the fifth person you can understand more clearly and follow their directions better.

 

I have been wanting to set up an etsy account  (www.etsy.com is where creative people sell what they make) and I was going through my yarn. I had a few blankets people asked for, but never paid for it as well as projects for fun. Then I came across a lot of granny squares, and remembered an idea.

 

I was going to just continue to make these squares, but they are so boring. I have all this extra yarn, so one more big blanket, and back to the squares. Then I realized I had or least wanted to do something different. So I am on the hunt. I did find one, but not sure it’s meant for more the one color. 

 

I just realized I got distracted by what I had planned to do. I am going to sell granny squares and not worry about these big blankets. If I am going to sell a dozen a bundle, I need to stay focused, and stay with one project at a time.

 

I also decided to rearrange my point of view. I have a clear basket where I had my yarn and was putting the granny squares in another bag. I had that backwards. Let me put the complete squares into the see through bag and yarn in regularly bag that way I can actually see my progress.  (At least until it’s full and I have to empty it again).

I did separate the material of yarn and by actually being able to see them I can and will stay focused.

 

There will be another time to make a bigger blanket, say in the winter when your work can keep you warm, and you can work longer.

 

The End!!

 

I try and I try and no matter how hard I try reality always comes to mind. Then I stop and get back into who I am and who I know I can be.

Today my reality is walking around without a doctor and there are times when my blood pressure does go up. So, lights out, sound low, air on, and relaxing at home when I can work well for me.

I also get into the Word:

Then He said to her, “Daughter, your faith [your personal trust and confidence in Me] has restored you to health; go in peace and be [permanently] healed from your suffering.”

MARK 5:34 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/mrk.5.34.AMP

Although this was talking about the woman with the issue of blood, but I know it will work for me too.

I am also a single and its my choice to be single. I am tired of hearing, “You need a man and maybe your pain will go away.” Its crazy for a mortal man to take away all my pain and worries. A mortal man is going to make me happy and help pay my bills. A mortal man is all I need.

I just smile and say, “I have Jesus on my side.” I am not where I want to be in life, but I am working on a better me. I am not about to stress of things I don’t have or the life people says I should have.

Its my life and if I am happy and I am Happy I’m good. I just wish people would stop trying to live my life for me. Stop telling me what I can and cannot do, for they may know my name, but they really don’t know who I am.

I am “Lee” and proud to be me. I will not change who I am for anyone and if a Real man cross my path and see me, who knows what that outcome will be?

                          The                                                                       End!